Hello 2016

So it's already been eighteen days into the new year. I've been meaning to write a concluding post for 2015 for a while now and I even tried penning some of my thoughts down on the aeroplane home from Sydney but somehow it was a very challenging task.

I don't know why, perhaps it's because 2015 already seems too far away. Even in the last couple of months of it, I felt like I was already living a new chapter of my life, away from junior college, away from school life and unfortunately, away from a lot of my friends or just all the familiar faces I've grown so accustomed to for the past six years. I've moved on so quickly the moment A Levels ended and truth be told, I never once caught myself feeling upset about it. Which was strange because I've always thought myself to be a sucker for nostalgia - maybe I've learnt to accept that people have got to move on from things and we should just appreciate that they happened, or it could be because it's difficult to long for the past or feel sentimental about things that didn't impact me that strongly. That said, 2015 still deserves some credit. Sure - it wasn't the most fulfilling or eventful of years but I was still fortunate to have lived through some pretty wonderful moments and surviving twelve years of formal, MOE-regulated education and the A Level examinations are milestones in itself that should be celebrated (that is, before the results are revealed). With that, I shall take a little look back at how 2015 went and hope that my memory doesn't let me down now.

Studying in the Shaw Foundation Library took up majority of my time in the past year and while the memories are not vivid, it was during that time where my class truly bonded and it was then where I got completely comfortable with them and their company. And for that, I am so thankful. I don't think I could have survived without the knowledge that they were always there and that I could count on them for anything I was unsure of. They brought a lot of much-needed laughter into my life (although we were mostly laughing at ourselves and how we were all wallowing in misery). In hindsight, they are probably the most underrated group of friends I've ever had - I don't write sappy Instagram dedications to them nor acknowledge them publicly but the year would've been so different without their presence.

Interact was also one hell of a huge blessing. Truth be told, I never had a burning desire to be a part of this CCA but I'm incredibly appreciative of how well things have worked out for me. Right from the start of 2015, Interact Camp stressed me out big time especially with Orientation and CT1s but it has been a while since I've done this sort of event-planning or been responsible for a large group of people and to me, these things are what makes life more fulfilling and exciting (as much as I vowed not to get involved with all these when I first entered junior college). Perhaps the best decision of the year was to give up one week of my June holidays' study time for the Interact trip to Cambodia. I learnt so much more about life than if I had spent the week just facing pure academic material, and I found myself in a company of people who loved so selflessly. Of course, Interact also gave me CSL - they made me look forward to Mondays and that's probably one of the best ways to start a school week.

Orientation was pretty far back and it does feel like a distant memory but it gave me my favourite lil shits. They are always showering us with so much love and care especially during the A Level period - it's always a joy seeing them around and having little individual impromptu chats. Few OGlings still include their OGLs in their activities and outings but they are always so inclusive, which makes me really happy and to see them genuinely enjoy each others' company is one of the loveliest feelings in the world. Starting every single school morning for the past year with them seems like such a minute event but having something constant like that is comforting and they've definitely lifted my spirits on dreary mornings.

Now when I really think about it, there's been so much to be thankful for in 2015, many of which I can't cover in this post.

Anyway, since the start of 2014, I've actually been doing this thing where I talk to the camera about my thoughts and feelings and really just anything that's on my mind at various times of the year. It's quite nice (but also a little surreal and strange) to be able to look back and see how my perspective on certain topics changes. I must admit that 2014 was an insane emotional roller coaster ride but I just saw several of the clips from 2015 and I must say that considering it was my A Level year, I was surprisingly calm and happy and even proved my January 1, 2015 self wrong about how I was probably going to regress into my anxiety-stricken Primary six PSLE-sitting self. You go, girl! :-)

Thanks for the better-than-expected ride, 2015.

And hello, 2016. You are already the most unpredictable year in a long, long while. For the past couple of years I would always know where I'd be a few months into the future but what's staring at me right now is a complete blank. I can't say I'm ready for what's to come but one thing's for sure - I'll try my very best to be open to whatever lies ahead.