Usually, near the end of the school holidays, I'd be going crazy - because I would feel like I haven't used the no-school break productively and I'd be wishing as much as I can to rewind time, though I know very well I won't be able to. This time, somehow I don't feel that way, at least not as much as I normally do and I appreciate the slight improvement in the way I'm thinking. Of course, I will never be fully contended with the way I spent my holidays because there's undoubtedly pockets of time where I'd "waste" it by doing frivolous things but then again that's natural and I suppose it did give me happiness at that point of time.
This June though, it feels extremely different, in a good way. I remember, before entering JC, I told myself that I'd be focused more on my academics because in secondary school, I've already had the time of my life doing amazing, wonderful things (though that doesn't mean I'm any less amazing now - hello? hehe) and I think I stayed true to that promise this holidays, spending more than half of my time in the school library learning. While I can't say that I'd do well for the upcoming common tests because I don't feel that prepared in all honesty, I can be sure that I wouldn't regret anything (unlike if I didn't study at all or left everything till the last minute).
Apart from spending my time with my books, I haven't been all closed up this holiday though because that'll be really unlike me - I still need fun in my life and so I did! I spent quite a bit of time this month catching up with people who mean so, so much to me such as several of the Boings, Emily, Ragini, amongst others, having a lot of quiet and alone time, doing a lot of envisioning and getting a direction for the year ahead for Interact, visiting quaint cafés that I've been dying to visit for a long, long time (and which I'll blog about soon) and also doing things I love such as baking and cooking. It's been a lovely time, truly.
Also, I feel incredibly loved almost constantly, it's so crazy. Sometimes I don't know what I do/did to deserve all the wonderful company and friends and people around me because they're always so supportive no matter what. They always make me feel like I'm so much better than who I really am, making me feel like I'm actually an inspiration to others (which is crazy, that's like the biggest compliment anyone can ever give to me?) and it makes me feel like I should push myself even more to be kinder and to show more love and reflect more positivity and influence people around me, so thank you everyone - you guys are what makes me continue being who I am and I'm suddenly really feeling so thankful right now, I can't really express myself properly.
There's around three more days till the first paper of the upcoming CTs and while I still have a bit to do, I'm incredibly thankful for everything that has occurred this past month and I hope everyone's been feeling good about themselves because we all deserve to, whether or not you feel that way or not :-) Please do treat yourself to a little something nice before term three starts - it can be anything, such as grabbing an ice cream from a nearby shop or brewing yourself a warm, lovely cup of tea or spending half an hour on a comfy couch with your favourite music playlist - it doesn't take long but I can assure you that it'll give you a little boost; all the best everyone!
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