2110'11

asdfghjkl; i'm just really really confused.

This entire past school week has been an eye-opener.

It's been crazy, making me think through about the previous decisions I have made and wondering if I should and whether I can actually go back and undo certain things I have done.

There was house camp and I was in the Organizing Comm for this (for which we were only informed of the camp less than 5 days before the event itself). The five of us (one vcapt from each house) put in so much effort in everything and tried to do whatever we could, trying to perfect every aspect, to make House Comm Camp a great experience for everyone. Of course, that also meant we wanted it to be a wonderful experience for ourselves but it was entirely ruined but the many harsh scoldings we received although it wasn't exactly our fault. The anger of being blamed/ scolded for something which you have spent so long doing (and it wasn't even wrong) is really reallly crazy and it made us really mad for a while. But I think that most House Commers enjoyed the camp, so I guess that's what really matters at the end of the day (':

But this sense of stress of having to work in a short span of time really got to me and it hit me. Throughout the time when I was planning the House Camp, there were so many emails I had to read every day, including a huge amount from my Prefectorial Board batch. Emails during this peak period averaged at about 50 per day, each screaming for my input and response.

It was so stressful and this crazy period really made me wonder if it was the right decision to take up two lead boards, including one of which I was the vice-captain of. I felt like I was sacrificing one when I attended to the other and both didn't get the attention they fully deserve of me. To add to this, exams are over so there wasn't even any academic stress. So, I really wonder if I would be able to cope when the academic work piles up at a more difficult level and balance it with my two leadership boards, both of which are going to be quite hardcore next year.

However, I'm not saying I have any regrets, I'm just wondering how I'm supposed to cope- I can't back out in either one and I don't intend to but this is really a wake up call for myself, that next year is going to be a crazy year and I need to focus really really well or I would suffer the bad consequences and they wouldn't be pleasant at all.

I . NEED . TO . FOCUS . and really plan my time very very well!

okay i'm tired now, I have more to write but let's save that for another post shall we?