1602'11

i think sometimes feelings just can't be put into words .

that's what pictures are for (:

especially romanticism paintings . they express stuff that can't be described through words . the above photograph / painting doesn't exactly exhibit whatever i'm feeling now . but the essence is kind of there .

to put it simply , the picture is basically depicting the emotion of both happiness and sadness . it's sad cos like , the girl killed herself and death is usually seen as something bad ( ahh , but what about utilitarianism ? that is the question ) and happiness is exhibited as she goes to another place where it will be beautiful ( picture lovely meadows ) and she will be free etc . ohmygosh i have this burning desire to touch on utilitarianism now but it's quite late already and i need to sleep / do homework etc . so i shall not . another day perhaps .

ANYWAY , the main focal point of today's post is on my emotions . haha , right now i feel really self centered or something . these few days , i just feel terribly unsure of how i feel . but not really . because i'm very sure that i'm feeling unsure . oh crap and now i'm even more terribly mixed up with my emotions . to put it simply , i feel very happy , very carefree at one point , but sometimes i just think again and i become thoroughly depressed and stressed D: i think i'm trapped in this whole entanglement of my own emotions .

i'm so crazily busy with tons of email to clear everyday , and i have so much homework , and so many commitments . and i'm only sec two D: i guess half the load will pass after spirit week cos that's when house day is over , founder's day is over etc . what'll happen when i reach upper sec ? i'll sink deeper into the hole i climbed out from . as they say , the higher you climb , the deeper you fall . argh this is so true . but oooh i'm so excited for house day (: we're gonna make the morning announcements and i'm gonna overcome my stage fright , hopefully ;D i didn't use to have stage fright in hips but after walking up for a brief moment on ihg opening ceremony , i realised that rgs is much more intimidating .

ohoh and my day started terribly today . right , i don't want to touch on it .

my stupid emotions . i should sort them out soon .

love ,

liyin .

p/s : sometimes i really love blogs . it's such a great place to reflect on your day , your life etc . it's very very enriching and beneficial if you use it well ;D

p/p/s : however , sometimes i have to control myself from typing insulting / offensive crap , even if those are my true feelings . i think i should recreate my private blog where i can just hurl vulgarities . letting your steam off is really a good way to calm down . but i'm afraid blogger just screws up and pooft ! all my info is revealed to the world .